Guidance Archives | Dean and Marcie Whalen

Three Steps To Achieve Freedom From Too Much Clutter

November 20, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Holistic Freedom

Are you feeling anxious and finding it hard to focus? Are you easily annoyed over the smallest things? In case you’re wondering why you are constantly stressed out, it might help to take a minute and observe your surroundings. Do you see a messy room overflowing with stuff? Is your work area laden with random papers and other unnecessary things? The clutter around you may just be the reason for your inability to concentrate and stay calm!

Take the challenge to declutter today!

The things you accumulate throughout the years contain memories that are hard to leave behind.It is understandable if you struggle in letting go of too much stuff. Science can explain this behavior, as a study done by researchers from Yale School of Medicine revealed that for hoarders, throwing away previously owned stuff triggers the brain area that is associated with pain. Taking the challenge to declutter is essential to maintain a positive mindset and achieve work efficiency. Holding on to old things traps you into all the negative effects of a disorganized life. In fact, researchers from the University of California Los Angeles found a direct link between stress and clutter. So if you want organization, clarity and peace back in your life, free your home or desk from things you do not need. Say yes to decluttering today with the following steps.

Complement your goals with concrete plans.

Once you decide to declutter, set out goals that you need to accomplish for a simpler, minimalist lifestyle. To lay out achievable objectives, the first thing to do is determine the areas or spaces that you need to work on. It is probably the closet that is brimming with clothes you have not seen or worn for some time. Or your child’s playroom which is filled with broken toys. After listing down all the areas that you need to clean up, it is time to think of concrete plans to get rid of it by selling or recycling those items.

Take it one day at a time and set a deadline.

Even if you are aware of the urgency to free your home or desk from things you do not need, the task of decluttering is not always easy. You may be tempted to just throw everything in sight, but that is impractical and irresponsible. Most of the time, you need to carefully go through your things to determine if something is for keeping, throwing or donating. The whole process can take time, so do not not expect the road towards minimalism to be a fast one.

You are unlikely to finish decluttering in a day, so break down your goals and target one messy area at a time. The pace of your progress will depend on your schedule. But don’t forget to set a deadline for your decluttering goals. With a fixed time frame in mind, you can easily avoid the lure to procrastinate or set aside your mission to live with less stuff.

Choose a desired decluttering method.

Admit it, you need every help you can get to finally live with less clutter. It would not hurt to look for inspiration that can motivate your decluttering efforts. You can also choose to follow a method or technique that is known to effectively help people who wants to lead a minimalist lifestyle. One method you can try is Konmari. This method was is proposed by Japanese author Marie Kondo. In this approach, you organize your things and keep only the things that spark joy. Another option is called the four-box method, wherein you allot four containers to easily sort through your things. One box for items to give away, another box for things to throw away, one box for things to store and the last box for items you can’t decide what to do with. There are more organization methods, so try to choose one method that will suit you best.

The decision to live with just the basics is not a spur of the moment thing. Rather, it is a lifestyle change.nce done with decluttering, try not to be tempted to hoard things again. Remember that every item you purchase but do not actually need adds up to invisible baggage that may become very hard to carry later on. Commit to living with less stuff to enjoy the benefits of a minimalist lifestyle!

Four Practical Tips To Stay Productive When You Feel Exhausted

November 13, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Life Coaching

The deadline for several projects you are working on is looming, and you desperately want to finish your work, but your head is aching and your body feels weak. Sound familiar? Almost everyone can relate to the above scenario because we have all been there at one time or another. There are days when you are swamped with tons of tasks that need to be done, but you are also aware that your body needs rest.

Your initial reaction may be to sacrifice one or the other. Either you listen to your body and ignore the deadline or stretch your strength to the limits as long as you get the work done. Facing the dilemma in one of these ways may work, but can also backfire in the long run. You may think it is too good to be true, but with a few tweaks to your daily habit and routines, it is possible to have the best of both worlds. You can stay productive and meet the deadline without abusing your body. Try the following practical hacks:

Take regular breaks.

Have you been struggling to finish your tasks easily because you’re not taking breaks? It may feel a bit sad to know, but this tactic will not work. In fact, ignoring break times may only slow you down. Taking a break and forgetting about your work for a little while will refresh your mind. After the break, you will likely to be more inspired and ready to tackle the tasks anew

If you need further proof, researchers from the University of Illinois showed in a study that taking quick breaks can greatly enhance focus and performance. So no matter how heavy your workload gets, remember to take a short break once in a while. Allow your mind and body to recharge by taking a short power nap or eat some snacks. If you know that a busy week is coming, you can prepare for it by taking a relaxing getaway just before things get hectic.

Schedule a time for emails.

Email notifications can be useful but can also distract you from the more important tasks. To keep these messages from stealing your attention, you may want to allot a specific time for it. Choose the most convenient time in your day to check and reply to emails and stick to it. You may be surprised at how much you can accomplish if you do not have to stop your work progress just to reply to a message or read an email. A smart idea to ensure that emails will not take up too much of your time is to set a timer for it. Thirty minutes a day will be more than enough to ensure that you do not miss any important messages or reminders.

Drink your way to productivity.

On days when you feel really sluggish and unmotivated, a cup of black coffee can help you get through the day. A research study published in the British Conference of Undergraduate Research showed that drinking coffee before physical exercise results in longer workout hours. You can boost your caffeine fix by drinking black coffee mixed with coconut oil. Many claim that this drink gives tremendous benefits, but others say that it can pose health problems. To be certain, you may want to consult with a physician regarding your coffee intake. If you are not a coffee drinker, tea is an alternative power drink. One study revealed that drinking tea stimulates the mind and help you do your job more efficiently.

With coffee and tea on this list, it seems obvious that staying hydrated is essential to staying productive. So aside from the drinks mentioned, do not forget to drink enough water. Research done by the University of East London proved that water intake can increase brain activity up to 14%. Next time you feel a need for something to perk you up, a glass of water may be all you need. It is generally readily available and safe for all.

Stand, walk or stretch.

Sitting too long working on a task is likely to lead to health problems and can contribute to poor work performance. Throughout the day, take time to engage in a brief physical activity. This suggestion is tied into the idea of taking a break, because it implies finding opportunities to have time away from your desk. You can allot a few minutes to stand and stretch your muscles. Or have lunch at a nearby restaurant. Walking to the restaurant and a bit of change in the surroundings can leave you more inspired to work.

Aside from the four tips featured here, there are many other ways to stay competent and productive even when the workload starts to get overwhelming. Panicking and worrying will not help and may further slow you down. So stay calm amidst a pile of tasks. With a few tricks here and there, you can finish them all in a cinch!

Responding To Emotional Bids: The Key To Lasting Relationships?

October 30, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Holistic Freedom

Starting a relationship with someone can be easy and spontaneous, but the challenge is in keeping that close connection strong and intact throughout the years. With claims that almost 50% of marriages in America end in divorce, you can clearly see that building a meaningful relationship takes hard work and serious commitment.

For this reason, people are usually in awe upon seeing couples who manage to keep their union happy and fulfilling throughout the years. And no one starts a relationship with the intention for it to fail. With guidebooks and numerous studies suggesting various ways on how to have a happy marriage, you can even conclude that our society is obsessed with building and maintaining relationships.

So why do many relationships fail to survive the test of time? What is the reason some marriages or partnerships last while others don’t? An American psychologist, John Gottman attempted to answer this perennial question with the introduction of emotional bids.

What are emotional bids?

The concept of emotional bids is the result of a longitudinal study where Gottman observed newly-married couples and followed up with them six years later to see who among them were able to keep their vows. Gottman claimed that by observing the couples whose status remain unchanged after several years of marriage, he has unraveling the secret formula to a healthy and rewarding relationship.

According to him, one main difference between a successful and failed marriage is the ability of the couples to recognize and positively respond to each other’s call for connection. Gottman called the signals that people send out to those they want to form a connection with – emotional bids. Apparently, we all send and receive these signals (they can be verbal or nonverbal) in everyday situations to people we interact with. The way we choose to respond to these emotional bids are like steps we take in relationship building. A negative response turns you away from someone, while a positive response leads you towards a person.

How can you use the concept of emotional bids to improve relationships?

In a relationship, both parties constantly make emotional bids to each other in various ways. It happens whenever someone attempts to reach out to his or her partner. An emotional bid is easy to miss because it can be as simple as a wife asking her spouse about his day wherein a husband can either give a short standard reply or enthusiastically narrate the events of the day. In another scenario, the husband may try to suggest to his spouse a new place they can hang out and the wife can either accept or reject the idea.

Whenever we make emotional bids, we are unconsciously conveying a hidden message to one another. For example, the simple questions above can actually be a plea for your partner’s attention or affection. In the first example, the wife asking her husband a question is actually saying that she cares about her partner’s whereabouts. Meanwhile, the husband suggesting a new place is saying that he wants to spend more time with his wife.

If you know how to detect the hidden meaning to the messages that someone relays through emotional bids, you can discern the proper answer or response that will address the needs of your partner. Consistently hearing or receiving negative responses to emotional bids will weaken, and may ultimately break, the relationship. On the other hand, regular positive responses nurture and strengthen the relationship. If you closely delve into it, the key to lasting relationships is simply choosing to be kinder to your partner. Gottman’s research centers on romantic relationships, but the idea behind emotional bids can be applied in all types of relationships.

The quality of the relationships you have in your life affect your overall happiness and wellbeing. Successful relationships, though, take real effort. If you wish to nurture relationships, be more thoughtful and attentive to fulfill the needs of others. If you fully understand the idea of emotional bids and consciously apply it to your everyday life, you may soon discover that you have found the key to lasting relationships.

3 Ways to Ease the Transition Back-To-School After Summer Break

September 11, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Family

With summer coming to an end and the school year starting anew, it’s time to start transitioning your little one out of vacation mode. It’s no secret that there is a stark contrast between lazy summer lounging and days full of academic challenge. A few months of lax schedules and no homework can cause even the most astute students to protest school’s return.

Understandably, some children find it difficult to adjust during their first semester. However, as parents, we have the power to ease those back-to-school blues. Here are three ways you can help your children acclimate:

Emphasize the Positive

Your little one may be mourning the end of his summer break, but no child can deny the joy that new things bring. If your student seems glum about returning to school, offer a different perspective by focusing on the positive. The most popular motivator is undoubtedly new clothes and school supplies. As tempting as it is to print off the school supplies list and quickly handle it yourself, don’t. Back-to-school shopping gives your child an opportunity to reinvent their personal style, test the waters on the newest fashion trends and personalize the tools that they will need in class. In addition to new apparel and supplies, a fresh school year also brings new friends.

While school’s main objective is to educate children on a diverse array of academic topics, it also helps develop social skills. Socialization is integrated into nearly every aspect of the school day; consequently, new friends are a big deal. Remind your child that they are going to be surrounded by plenty of classmates who they can have fun with, both in and out of school. If shopping and friends aren’t exciting enough, consider allowing your child to test a new mode of transportation to and from school.

If they normally walk, maybe they can try taking the school bus or their bike instead. Enacting such a simple change can do wonders for your student’s attitude toward the upcoming year. Lastly, new teachers and classes can also be a silver lining. Do a bit of research to find out the basics about your child’s new teacher, schedule or subjects and speak excitedly about those topics.

Make Responsibilities More Convenient

Some students struggle during the beginning of the year because they dislike the responsibility that school brings. Whether packing a lunch, remembering to complete an assignment or mastering time management, responsibility is indeed a vital aspect of conquering school. Ease the burden by employing creative tactics and aids to help your child handle responsibility effectively.

Lunch

o Try lunch packing stations.

o Create a binder full of school lunch ideas that your child can reference.

o Print a copy of the school lunch menu and hang it on the fridge.

Homework

o Keep a wall calendar with all homework and important assignments listed (hang the school calendar next to it).

o Install Command Hooks near the door for you child to hang their backpack (so they won’t forget it).

o Use a wall file hanger where children can put forms to be signed or homework to be checked.

Time Management

o Estimate the amount of time needed for an assignment, then set a timer to stay on track.

o Regularly check-in with your child to see if schedules need to be adjusted to accommodate a healthy balance of academics and home life.

Keep An Open Dialogue About Emotions

A little empathy goes a long way. As hard as we try, it’s impossible to prepare for every scenario that will cause tension in the new year. Eventually, your little one will encounter a bout of frustration, fear or anxiety. It’s important to be proactive by fostering a habit of open communication from the very 1st day of school. This will help your child feel comfortable sharing their stressors with you.

Listen to their concerns and experiences without judgment and offer assistance when applicable. Validate their feelings and be supportive by helping them problem solve. Be realistic about the amount of the time it may take to settle into a new grade, with new people and surroundings. In short, be reassuring. Remind your child that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed and you will always be there to help.

From elementary, all the way through high school, letting go of summer can be tough. It’s completely normal to be a bit off-kilter when trying to get back into the routine of school. Make the transition easier by using these three tips and watch how your child’s attitude toward the first semester improve.

How To Cope If You Have Outgrown Your Business Mentorship

August 28, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Life Coaching

Entering mentorship comes with expectation on both sides. Mentors expect to impart wisdom on the future leaders of the field. Mentees expect to have reliable support during the rocky beginning phases of their careers. Schedules are discussed, contact information is exchanged, and hopes are high. Understandably, neither party spends time thinking about where the mentorship will be in a year, 5 years, or even 10 years. All conversation centers on the now. But in 5 years, will things still be the same? If not, what’s the proper way to handle the changes that will occur?

Growth

A difficult aspect of mentorship, which often gets glossed over, is the conclusion. There are several reasons that mentoring relationships can come to an end, but one of the most common is mentee growth. Typically, mentorships begin with the intent of easing the novice’s transition into a new career. During that time, mentors share networking connections, wisdom, and expert advice when problems arise. But what happens down the line when the mentee is flourishing and no longer needs the same type of guidance?

Mentees:
· Should you keep a mentor who has no experience in the direction that your career has led you?
· What should you do if you feel your success has surpassed the level of your mentor’s?

Mentors:
· If your mentee is asking questions about technologies and best practices that you weren’t trained in, should you still try to help?
· Are you holding back your mentee from moving on to someone who better suits his/her current position?

These are all plausible situations that many people face every day, but fail to address head-on. So, what should you do if you find yourself in the same position?

You have two choices; redefine your relationship or end it. Redefining your mentorship could include transitioning your former teacher-student dynamic into a friendship where you both seek and give information equally.

Mentees: You can now show gratitude by helping your former teacher through some of her business problems.

Mentors: You should be proud of how far your protégée has come; now you can reap the benefits!

However, if egos are causing a problem, tensions are mounting, or your bond is growing weak, it may be time to (amicably) part ways before damage occurs. Growth is a healthy part of life, but it can alter your perspective about who you will need around to help you with your next step. If it’s time to say goodbye, do so knowing that the time you shared was well spent. Remember that ending the mentorship doesn’t need to be a negative experience. It also doesn’t need to be the end of all communication. The benefits of mentoring are vast – it would be pointless to completely ruin the connection you worked so hard to build. You still have an opportunity to preserve your business connection (in spite of ending the mentorship).

Mentees: Express your gratitude. Your mentor didn’t have to share her time, knowledge and expertise with you, but she did. Credit her when you have a chance to, and check in every now and then to say hi.

Mentors: This is your chance to be understanding and wish your mentee the best of luck in his future endeavors. Speak kindly of him in his absence and be cordial to him when you see him in the field.

Most mentorships skip this step altogether and let things fizzle out over time. One person stops calling, the other stops returning emails, and before they know it, they’ve become nothing more than distant acquaintances. When they coincidentally bump into each other in public, things can be awkward and strained. Instead of maintaining what was formerly a viable connection, they’ve lost it.

Don’t let a similar sad ending be what comes of your mentorship. If you sense that growth is the source of the changes you’ve noticed, schedule a conversation with your mentor/mentee and have a heart-to-heart about what the future holds. No matter the outcome, remember that there is room for friendship after mentorship.

Eight Habits of Happily Married Couples To Emulate

August 21, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Family

Marriage vows promise, “Till death do us part”. In no way is that a light commitment. A lifetime of happiness requires hard work. It is cultivated through consistent effort, effective communication, and a lot of patience and love. But outside of those large foundational cornerstones, marital longevity is built through small daily interactions. In other words, it’s the little things. Here are 8 small steps that make a huge impact on maintaining the bliss in your relationship.

1. Have a Heart of Gratitude

Keep in mind that your partner doesn’t have to do anything; every kind of action is a conscious choice. The way your spouse loves you is a direct result of his/her purposeful intent. Don’t fall into the trap of taking your loved one for granted. Be thankful. Exude gratitude in your words, your actions, and your thoughts.

2. Do at Least One Extraordinary Thing a Day

Extraordinary sounds big, but it doesn’t have to be. Commit to performing small, “outside of the norm” acts that will make your spouse smile. Leave a handwritten love letter in her car, run that errand he’s been too busy to tackle, call her at work just to compliment her – do something thoughtful.

3. Ask “What Can I Do to Make Your Day Better?”

When you live with someone, it’s easy to assume that you know what he/she needs. You cross off all of the daily to-dos, pay the bills, and take care of chores, what more could your spouse need? While you are probably handling the major day-to-day responsibilities, there’s always more that can be done. Asking this simple question shows that you are willing and open to do a little extra to make his/her day easier.

4. Be Polite

Saying please and thank you is a common nicety that we often extend to strangers, acquaintances and coworkers. We hold doors open, quickly apologize for mistakes and maintain friendly body language and tone during communication. If we do all this for the people outside of our houses, why do we suddenly deem them unnecessary inside our homes? Your spouse deserves to be addressed the utmost courtesy. Never let the behavior you display for strangers to outshine the behavior your display with your spouse.

5. Touch Often

Small touches throughout the day are a form of intimacy, bonding, and attachment. At home, in public, in the car – touch your spouse. The goal is to stay connected. Hold hands, hug, sit closely, cuddle, and kiss. Touch is a perfect way to keep the romance alive.

6. Be Spontaneous

Marriage can fall victim to the comfort of routine. Keep things fresh by being spontaneous every now and again. Try a spur of the moment vacation, a date in a different city, or unexpected surprise. Your partner will love that you put thought into doing something new.

7. Find a Common Interest

For long-term couples, time apart is a vital element of a healthy relationship, but you don’t want to create too much separation. Investing time in a common interest is a fun way to stay united. Make a list of all the things you mutually enjoy, then try to find a class, club, or group that is centered around that hobby.

8. Create Traditions

Strengthen bonds by creating family traditions that celebrate the uniqueness of your union. Pick an annual custom that you’ll be able to maintain throughout the years. As your family grows, you’ll be able to share them with your children, who will go on to teach them to their own future generations. If you don’t know where to start, consider holiday traditions, sport rituals, or yearly vacations.

Countless threads of commitment hold happy marriages together. Committing to seek marriage advice, and put it into action, is one way to do your part in strengthening your union. When you make small deliberate choices to put your spouse and your marriage first, you are investing in the success of your future. Start by personalizing these 8 tips to fit the needs of your relationship.

Our Favorite Tips to Keep the Family Healthy

April 10, 2018 Dean and Marcie Whalen Family, Fitness, Lifestyle

Adopting a healthy lifestyle for your family is important for every member to reach his or her full potential. In our household, we focus on health in all areas of life––mentally, emotionally, and physically––because we know that well-rounded health leads to a well-rounded life. Our home encourages this all-inclusive healthy lifestyle because our family is the happiest when we make our health a priority. However, we know that maintaining a healthy lifestyle in every area of life can be difficult when life gets busy. That’s why we came up with three of our favorite tips to keep the family healthy even when life gets in the way.

Stay active

An active lifestyle leads to health in multiple areas of life. Not only does it help maintain a healthy weight, but it also reduces the risk of conditions like a stroke and heart disease. Perhaps most notably, staying active increases children’s self-confidence, enhances cognitive function, and provides them with a healthy way to improve their mental health. Whether it’s a walk around the neighborhood after dinner, a pickup game of basketball in the driveway, or soccer practice after school, make sure your family members participate in physical activity every day.

Make sleep a priority

When life becomes overwhelmingly busy, sleep is often compromised. However, make sure sleep is a priority in your household because a well-rested person performs exponentially better throughout the day. Overtiredness leads to lack of energy, crankiness, and laziness. One of the best ways to ensure that your family members get enough hours of sleep each night is to establish a nighttime routine for your whole family and stick to it as often as possible because consistency maintains our internal body clocks. Also, make sure you don’t over-commit yourself or your family because two big nights in a row may not be worth the meltdown on day three.

Eat meals together

Sharing meals with your family provides an opportunity for everyone to catch up with each other on a daily basis. But, your family dinners are also so much more beneficial than that. This time together provides your family with an opportunity to learn how to choose and pair healthy foods together, understand what foods make you all feel and perform your best, and establish healthy eating habits to use as a guide throughout life. Not to mention, family time around the table can also foster healthier relationships and improve communication within your family.

It’s easy to let the business of life take advantage of your family’s time and health, but follow these three tips to keep your family healthy no matter what.

How to Survive Grocery Shopping with a Toddler

February 15, 2017 Dean and Marcie Whalen Parenting

Grocery shopping with a toddler: add it to the top of the list of things no one loves to do. Between the screaming, the grabbing, the running away, and the sneaking of miscellaneous items into the cart, there’s a whole host of nightmare scenarios that just come with the territory of bringing a toddler to the grocery store with you. If you’re a parent, you’ve more than likely been there, and you’re nodding your head right now. If you’re even thinking of having kids, you’ll someday know this pain (and encounter it weekly).

For all of you struggling parents out there, there are three tips that will help anyone survive grocery shopping with even the most stubborn of toddlers.

Let Your Toddler Help with the List

There’s nothing more frustrating for a curious toddler than not knowing what’s going on and not being a part of the action.

Get your little one involved in the choices that you make at the store by holding up prospective items and letting them pick which one they’d prefer. Hold up an apple in one hand and a pear in another; whichever your toddler lunges for, add a few of them to the cart. That way, your child feels a sense of agency, instead of helplessness, when you’re grocery shopping together.

Keep Your Toddler Comfy While Shopping

When it’s cold outside, and you enter a heated store, the first thing you do is peel off your coat and strip off your hat and gloves. Your toddler doesn’t quite have the sense to do that just yet, so you’ll have to be their climate control.

If the store’s usually on the cold side (as many grocery stores are), make sure you bring an extra sweater or jacket to keep your toddler nice and comfy while you shop.

Make Sure Your Toddler isn’t Hangry

You wouldn’t dare go grocery shopping when you’re hungry—or if you do, you immediately regret it when the bill is tallied up. So, why would you bring your toddler to the store with an empty tummy and hungry eyes? It’s a recipe for disaster!

The next time you plan to head to the store with your toddler, make sure they’re not hangry (hungry to the point of anger) by giving them a small snack in preparation. Having something to nibble on while you’re perusing the vegetables will cut down on the screaming, crying, and it will definitely diminish the grabbing and putting random items in the cart. Thank goodness for animal crackers!

3 Habits You Should Quit Right Now

February 15, 2017 Dean and Marcie Whalen Life Coaching

Everyone has vices. For some, it’s biting their nails. For others, it’s smoking cigarettes. But for most people, the worst habits they pick up aren’t the most noticeable. They’re not as obvious as smoking, swearing, drinking, or biting nails; they’re more internal—and that’s what makes them all the more nefarious.

Chances are, you’re guilty of at least one of these habits you should quit right now.

Quit Letting Distractions Rule Your Life

In the age of social media, smartphones, and tablets, it’s hard not to be completely immersed in distractions. Digital notifications have the same kind of addictive quality that some of the most insidious hard drugs do. Your brain lights up like a Christmas tree the moment your screen lights up.

But, if you want to live a successful, happy life, you have to let go of these distractions. You don’t have to completely unplug, but it’s for the best if you limit your exposure to digital distractions as much as possible. Don’t let them rule your life. Turn off all of the notifications; silence the voices shouting at you from your tiny screen. Listen to the input of the people who are actually around you more.

Quit Hanging Around ‘Negative Nancys’

Speaking of the people around you, if you’re surrounded by a horde of naysayers and ‘Debbie Downers,’ then now is the time to quit. Drop ‘Negative Nancys’ like they’re hot potatoes. They’re not adding value to your life, and you can’t change their negative perceptions of the world.

You’re both better off if you don’t associate with one another. You won’t be able to drag them out of the mire, and they’ll only pull you down to their level. The people you choose to surround yourself with inform others who you are as a person, so make sure you choose them wisely.

Quit Comparing Your Journey to Others

As the old adage goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” If you waste your time comparing your life to those of the people around you, you’ll never find happiness.

Not only that, but you’ll also wind up not being as successful. In order to be your best self, you have to focus on just that: being your best self.