Traits You Need To Build Extraordinary Resilience & Achieve Success

Truth be told, you will never really know just how strong and adamant you are unless adversity strikes. Then you learn courage, you build resilience, you learn to persevere, you build character. T. Whitmore

The classic book by Charles Darwin, “Origin of Species” talks about the importance of resilience. In this literature, the late scientist states that the strongest and brightest species is not necessarily the one who survives, rather it is the species that can best adapt to change.

So if you have set your sights to accomplish great things, resilience is definitely one factor you cannot ignore. The result of research done by Executive Coaching Consultancy, an executive coaching provider based in London, shows that resilience plays a very important part in achieving career success.

Big goals demand extraordinary resilience. If you want to stand out from the rest, it is necessary to be stronger than the average person. Building stronger resilience may sound like a tough challenge, but a closer look will reveal that it mostly involves strengthening character and improving your mindset.

Gain focus to keep distractions away.

The planning stage is usually the easiest part of goal-setting. Challenges come in once you immerse yourself on the task at hand and find yourself surrounded by so many distractions that attempt to steal your time and attention.

It would be next to impossible to finish anything if you cannot concentrate. You need focus in order to avoid distractions, and you need willpower to finish a task. Various techniques like meditation and affirmation can sharpen your ability to focus and strengthen your willpower.

Be consistent to stay on track.

The level of energy you put on a task may vary depending on your mood and the situation. It is typical to display so much enthusiasm at the start of a project. That is, until fatigue and other roadblocks cause you to gradually lose interest.

If you want to be more resilient than the rest, try not to let anything affect your performance. It will not be easy but consistency in giving your best in any task is a sure road to success. To keep your ardor from slipping away, you can rely on your support group such as friends or family to tirelessly remind you about your goals every now and then.

Be humble and admit your own mistakes.

When things go wrong, it is so easy to resort to blaming and pointing fingers. The truly resilient individual will first examine his or her own actions before others. This is because someone with a strong mentality does not see mistakes as a sign of weakness, but rather an opportunity for learning.

If you have the guts to acknowledge your own mistakes, then you gain the wisdom to understand that failures happen for a reason. Likewise, by having the humility to accept your own flaws, you open doors for improvement and correction. This trait will be easier to achieve if you are clearly aware about your strengths and weaknesses.

Be brave enough to move on.

The exceptional individual allows time to heal after a failure but then also knows that sulking or wallowing in despair for too long is not an option. If you see defeat as simply part of the journey, you will always be ready to stand up and move on after every fall.

Things can get so tough that giving up seems like the easy way out. However, if you have a firm resolve to win, you will be determined to survive the blows of failures, mistakes and disappointments that you will meet along the way.

Life is a series of ups and downs, so greater resilience is indeed a trait that everyone should aim for. The process may get difficult but the positive rewards will cascade in all aspects of your life so it will be worth it.

Dean and Marcie WhalenTraits You Need To Build Extraordinary Resilience & Achieve Success
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Ten Effective Techniques to Achieve Emotional Freedom

Holistic freedom is a term that defines liberation within every area of daily life. One of the most important elements of our day-to-day demeanor is our emotional well-being. Every interaction we encounter can either positively or negatively affect our next actions. Whether we allow our undesirable experiences to shape our attitude is completely reliant upon us. If you find yourself feeling depressed, irritable, anxious or hopeless, you may be suffering the effects of emotional burdens. Keep reading to learn how to regain control of your emotional freedom.

Emotions can be tricky. Sometimes we feel stuck dwelling on emotions that we’d rather not have. Other times, we struggle to feel the emotions that we think we should be experiencing. Maybe you aren’t as happy as you’d like to be. Maybe you feel angrier than you know how to adequately control. You get frustrated and label yourself as an emotional wreck, but what’s really going on? Often times, negative emotions can present themselves as anger or embarrassment, when really they are masking deeper emotions that haven’t been expressed.

Anger is frequently rooted in fear, rejection or hurt. Embarrassment usually follows vulnerability or isolation. People struggle to find genuine solutions to their negative feelings because they regularly tend to the secondary emotions instead of the primary causes. Occasionally, even primary feelings are difficult to sooth. So what’s the proper approach? Rest assured, there are many techniques and best practices that, when practiced habitually, promote healing and emotional freedom.

Try:

  1. Being Emotionally Accountable
  • Be open to the fact that you may be causing some of the emotional pain you’re feeling. Consider the part you play and accept a leadership role when it comes to being in control of your feelings. 
  1. Practicing Awareness
  • Being aware is a life skill that has endless benefits. Emotional awareness helps you identify triggers and remove yourself from situations that are causing a spike in your negative emotions. Awareness also helps you recognize what causes your happiest moments so you can duplicate them to increase the positivity. 
  1. Opening up to Others
  • Find a trusted companion and vent about your feelings. If someone hurts you, let that person know. If you caused emotional pain, apologize. 
  1. Practicing Forgiveness
  • Forgiveness is hard, but necessary. The emotional baggage that comes with carrying around negativity from the people and situations that hurt you, only causes you more damage – don’t allow outside forces to have such an effect of your life. 
  1. Altering Your Perspective
  • Perspective is everything. A simple shift of thought can make all the difference. Instead of focusing on the bad, cancel those thoughts and replace them with the opposite. 
  1. Changing Your Lifestyle
  • Think about what causes you the most strife and emotional turmoil. Now create a plan to remove it from your life for good. 
  1. Identifying Productive Outlets
  • Negative emotions can leave us feeling frazzled and upset. If you never release that tension, the pressure mounts and results in an outburst. To avoid this, find a healthy outlet to channel your anger. Rage rooms, physical activity and recreational hobbies are all perfect coping activities. 
  1. Granting Yourself Permission to Fully Feel Your Emotions
  • Many people try to avoid the feelings that they deem unfavorable. Grief and sadness are two of the most popular emotions that get pushed out of the way. The problem is if you never allow yourself the time to experience those feelings, you effectively remove your opportunity to heal. As uncomfortable as it may be, you must give yourself the chance to feel and heal. 
  1. Treating Yourself with More Mercy
  • Holding yourself (and your feelings) to unrealistic standards does more harm than good. Remember that each person is unique and you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. 
  1. Seeking Therapy or Medical Attention
  • If your negative emotions feel unbearable or overwhelming to the point of toxic coping methods or a desire to self-harm (more info here), seek professional treatment immediately. Clinical depression, chemical imbalances and emotional disorders are very real. Conditions such as these require assistance from professionals who are trained to handle these matters. Never hesitate to make that call. 

The goal of emotional freedom is reach the point where your negative feelings no longer control you. Emotional freedom leads way to overall freedom, which, when achieved, produces overall joy in every part of your life. Remember these 10 tips and take the next step toward holistic freedom.

Dean and Marcie WhalenTen Effective Techniques to Achieve Emotional Freedom
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How To Cope If You Have Outgrown Your Business Mentorship

Entering mentorship comes with expectation on both sides. Mentors expect to impart wisdom on the future leaders of the field. Mentees expect to have reliable support during the rocky beginning phases of their careers. Schedules are discussed, contact information is exchanged, and hopes are high. Understandably, neither party spends time thinking about where the mentorship will be in a year, 5 years, or even 10 years. All conversation centers on the now. But in 5 years, will things still be the same? If not, what’s the proper way to handle the changes that will occur?

Growth

A difficult aspect of mentorship, which often gets glossed over, is the conclusion. There are several reasons that mentoring relationships can come to an end, but one of the most common is mentee growth. Typically, mentorships begin with the intent of easing the novice’s transition into a new career. During that time, mentors share networking connections, wisdom, and expert advice when problems arise. But what happens down the line when the mentee is flourishing and no longer needs the same type of guidance?

Mentees:
· Should you keep a mentor who has no experience in the direction that your career has led you?
· What should you do if you feel your success has surpassed the level of your mentor’s?

Mentors:
· If your mentee is asking questions about technologies and best practices that you weren’t trained in, should you still try to help?
· Are you holding back your mentee from moving on to someone who better suits his/her current position?

These are all plausible situations that many people face every day, but fail to address head-on. So, what should you do if you find yourself in the same position?

You have two choices; redefine your relationship or end it. Redefining your mentorship could include transitioning your former teacher-student dynamic into a friendship where you both seek and give information equally.

Mentees: You can now show gratitude by helping your former teacher through some of her business problems.

Mentors: You should be proud of how far your protégée has come; now you can reap the benefits!

However, if egos are causing a problem, tensions are mounting, or your bond is growing weak, it may be time to (amicably) part ways before damage occurs. Growth is a healthy part of life, but it can alter your perspective about who you will need around to help you with your next step. If it’s time to say goodbye, do so knowing that the time you shared was well spent. Remember that ending the mentorship doesn’t need to be a negative experience. It also doesn’t need to be the end of all communication. The benefits of mentoring are vast – it would be pointless to completely ruin the connection you worked so hard to build. You still have an opportunity to preserve your business connection (in spite of ending the mentorship).

Mentees: Express your gratitude. Your mentor didn’t have to share her time, knowledge and expertise with you, but she did. Credit her when you have a chance to, and check in every now and then to say hi.

Mentors: This is your chance to be understanding and wish your mentee the best of luck in his future endeavors. Speak kindly of him in his absence and be cordial to him when you see him in the field.

Most mentorships skip this step altogether and let things fizzle out over time. One person stops calling, the other stops returning emails, and before they know it, they’ve become nothing more than distant acquaintances. When they coincidentally bump into each other in public, things can be awkward and strained. Instead of maintaining what was formerly a viable connection, they’ve lost it.

Don’t let a similar sad ending be what comes of your mentorship. If you sense that growth is the source of the changes you’ve noticed, schedule a conversation with your mentor/mentee and have a heart-to-heart about what the future holds. No matter the outcome, remember that there is room for friendship after mentorship.

Dean and Marcie WhalenHow To Cope If You Have Outgrown Your Business Mentorship
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Top 3 Questions to Ask Your Mentor

So you’ve finally found yourself a mentor who shares your values and life aspirations? Kudos to you! But now for the next step. You need to make sure you’re prepared to ask your newly found life coach the right questions to take advantage of your first meeting. In your first meeting, the most important thing to remember is to ask questions that show interest, gain insight, offer information about yourself, and get to know your mentor all at the same time. But how do you ask powerful questions that provide all of the information you need in such a limited time? Read our top 3 questions to ask your mentor to get yourself started!

Top 3 Questions to Ask Your Mentor

What mistakes led you to your successes?

Be sure to include a series of questions that hone in on your mentor’s skill-building process. This question knocks out two birds with one stone. It invites your mentor to describe both his or her weaknesses and elaborate on his or her successes. By asking about both strengths and weaknesses, you will gain insight as to how the two can be related and how to make the best of unfavorable situations. Additionally, your mentor is likely to identify and elaborate on his or her greatest accomplishments and give you advice on what could have been executed differently. Listen closely because you might find out something you’ve never even thought of before.

How do you spend your free time?

Not only does finding out what your mentor does to relax and unwind allow you to get to know them on a personal level, it also bridges the conversation from professional to personal development and provides insight on how all areas of your life can and should be dynamic and connected. Pay special attention to the answer to this question––you never know what you might learn!   

What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?

Asking any question that indicates self-awareness gives you the most insight on your mentor’s career successes. This question paves the way for a much more personal conversation that builds trust and imparts valuable wisdom. It’s important to build a relationship with your mentor that opens the conversation to both career-driven thoughts and personal facts on past lessons learned.

By thoughtfully preparing for your first mentoring session, you’ll be guaranteed to get more out of it and your relationship with your mentor is likely to be much more successful. Happy mentoring!

Dean and Marcie WhalenTop 3 Questions to Ask Your Mentor
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